Eric Dimbleby
is a person who writes things. He writes stories concerning the underbelly of humanity and its perpetual misery. And for these crimes against his fellow man, in imagining their ultimate degradation, he has gone missing. Some say that he is “unstuck in time”, while others purport to have spotted him at the edge of a poorly dug grave on the side of a highway to nowhere in particular, takin' care of business.... feeding the worm. Feeding the demon. 

This is what Eric, a person, looks like:

photo taken by Roland Kilpatrick, January 3rd, 2009

Have you seen Eric in this dimension or the next? If you have seen Eric, please tell the local authorities. Pick up your telephone. Wait for a dial tone. Dial 207-555-9204. When somebody picks up, say the following: "I've found him. I've found Eric. And it's not very pretty." Then ask for your reward.

Your reward is coming.

If you get a screeching noise when you call this number, then try again. Keep trying, and don't let Eric out of your sight. He slips away, in and out of existence, with ease. He falls through the cracks of reality so erratically that you may need to tie a rope around him and tether him to a sturdy structure.